Several things

I like lists. They can be organized. I like making lists because they make me organized. Apparently, I also like speaking oddly when I just wake up.

Let's do Liszts! Har har har har har. Okay, wake up Torie... for real this time.

1. Craig & the Mother Unit.

Fantastic - the two most important men in my life have met my mother's approval and passed with flying colours! Alex - love of my life/soulmate/possessor of my future children and Craig - piano teacher extraordinaire. My mother found Craig to be charming but mostly fell in love with his house. Huh. Go figure. I'm paying him $209/month to give me lessons and she mostly admires the decor of his living room, rather than his teaching abilities.

2. My lesson!

My lessons, thankfully, were not just a repeat of last time. Some things were just like deja vu, like me butchering the Mozart and these chords in the end of Liebestraume (I'll show you what I mean during our next piano date!). But I received two new pieces to play - Sonata Pathetique (2nd mvt and 3rd mvt, will tackle 1st at a later date) and this one waltz by Chopin I've been dying to play forever! BUT WOE, THE KEY SIGNATURE IS IN SHARPS! Ay, Frederick! POUR QUOI?

3. I really hate typing in small text.

You may have noticed that this entry is in an entirely differenct colour. As much as it pains me to kiss the beloved black text goodbye, I see that the teeny tiny text is ridiculous! We need another way to distinguish my posts from yours - colour!

4. Today I felt another pang of annoyance and remorse for all the trees I killed when I looked in the mailbox.

Why did I so foolishly check the "Yes! Let prospective colleges spam me with their ridiculous brochures!" box? I was hoping to see letters from Yale and Harvard and Stanford, not... god, I don't even remember the names of these terrible colleges because I just toss them straight in the recycle pile. I stopped reading them early on.

Expert Torie shares her expertise on writing college brochures:

a. Use models in an attempt to make your college seem racially diverse.

-If you use one model, then you MUST use an African American girl BUT DO NOT USE AN AFRICAN AMERICAN GIRL WHOSE SKINTONE IS TOO DARK! She must look mixed with a milky coffee complexion, not like actual African American girls.

-If you use more than three models, be sure that the minority student models (Asian Americans, African Americans, Mexican Americans, etc) either meet or outnumber the number of white student models. When only using three models, hit the magic trinity of minority-ness and underrepresented-ness: Asian American, African American, and white. You have to throw in a white student in there because remember, you're racially diverse! You accept white students too, who have suddenly become the minority. Also, do not forget that the African American rule from above applies also in this situation.

b. Under no circumstances must your models look genuinely happy to be at your school, dressed in normal clothing, and know how to use the science equipment you're forcing them to model with.

-Models must wear argyle sweaters and look like a stereotypical student. Disregard the fact that nobody really wears that to class completely.

-Models MUST abuse their microscopes and exhibit bad pipetting techniques.

c. Use as many vague and non-specific phrases as possible.

-"...the nation's leading top institute in biochemical research!"

-"...proud member of the nation's top ten universities!" Who cares if this student has already recieved fifty broschures claiming the same thing?! We're the top in our ultimate frisbee team! We'll just conveniently leave that part out because it sounds better that way.

-"...a great school for any student who is looking to pursue an education!"

-"...located in a great location!" Who cares if that is entirely subjective and some people will come out here not expecting the desert?! I think it's great!

d. Don't even bother checking for grammatical errors.

-"What are the chances of these high SAT scorers being grammar nazis? Psh, ZILCH! We already printed out 100,000 of them, send 'em out Joe!"

e. If you make your brochure larger and with more pictures, then you don't need to bother with trying to make your college sound enticing.

-Students will be sucked in by your new VividInk Colour that you're using.

5. I need to practice more.

After AP and SAT testing, definitely. For now... I can surely squeeze in more than 30 minutes after coming home from school. I thought I'd be able to practice a ton during Spring Break but everybody is making it freaking impossible.